Recently, we have started looking for a property where we can live, along with my parents, for the rest of our lives. My husband has wanted to do it for a long time, and has always had the thought in the back of his mind. We want acreage not too far away from where we are now--a place where we could build a couple of houses for our family.
So a few days ago, my mom happened upon a property online. She looked through the photos and the description and started to get excited. We all looked it up and decided it was worth a look, so our real estate agent (Michelle Coffman...who is amazing, by the way) met us there to walk through it.
We ALL loved it. That's never happened before with any other properties. It's got everything we wanted. It's the perfect place for us, but the price range is a little high. But because it's got everything that was on our list, we are going to try to see what we can do. It's a peaceful place. It's quiet. It's secluded. It already has a great house on it. It has gorgeous land all around it...it's the kind of place I could see myself living for the rest of my life--seriously!--and I'm not one to ever say something like that. So we are praying for financial wisdom and for some ideas of what we can do.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that the thought of losing it is devastating? That's where I am right now. I am emotionally attached...which they tell you not to be when you're looking at prospective homes or properties. I have already pictured myself sitting on the back porch with my coffee and watching the sun set over the trees. I have already pictured how I would decorate it. I have already pictured how I would remodel the kitchen and make it beautiful. I have already pictured my parents building a home next to it. I have already pictured Sean building himself a little lean-to out in the woods for his camping adventures (seriously, you could camp out there and never see the house). I have already pictured my children growing up there and my grandchildren running in circles in the family room. That's all in my head now.
I keep telling myself that even if we don't get it, at least we know that the perfect property DOES actually exist...but that's not how I feel inside. So I'm praying for wisdom about our financial situation, patience to allow God to do what HE wants to do for us, and the ability to let go if it ends up that this isn't the place for us to live.
I want to be grateful, no matter what. God is in control and he knows my thoughts. He knows our family's needs better than I ever could. He knows our future and has our best interests at heart. I know it and I believe it. So, no matter what happens, I will be grateful. If it ends up that it's not for us, I will probably grieve a little bit, but I will know that God has something better in mind.
My hope for you is that you keep your eyes on God. Even if there's something you really want and that you think you'd be devastated to lose, God has your best interests at heart. I can remember one time specifically where I wanted something so badly, but when I got it I didn't keep my focus on God. The outcome of the situation was not what I had hoped and it was likely because I was focused on myself. God wasn't punishing me and I know he didn't decide to take it away to spite me, but it just didn't end up working out the way I'd hoped. I know, however, that it was because of my attitude and my skewed focus. Lesson learned.
If you keep your focus on God's heart for you and for others, you can't go wrong. The two greatest commandments are that we love God with all of our hearts and that we love our neighbor the way we love ourselves. I want to be willing to focus on God's heart in this situation and not worry. He loves my family and will take care of us. He'll do the same for yours, as well.
Today, I'm grateful for...
Sunshine. The last couple of days have been warming up with blue sky and sunshine. I can feel my mood getting better. I can feel my spirits rising, and that's such a good feeling. It's about time. Spring is on its way!
Seeing the grass. After all this time of having everything covered in a two-foot blanket of snow, I feel hopeful because I can see the grass again. I can hear the birds singing. I can walk outside without a parka! That's a blessing to me. I am so tired of snow.
Life. There are so many ebbs and flows to life--relationships, jobs, busy times and bored times. I am grateful that I'm learning to embrace the ebbs and flows, rather than trying to fill the ebbs with noise. God is teaching me to hold onto life. It's too short, and every ebb and flow can teach me a lesson if I'm willing to learn.
Hope. As I mentioned, seeing that this property actually DOES exist has given me hope. I was beginning to think that to find what we needed we'd have to go an hour away...I didn't like that idea. God has shown me that I shouldn't put him in a box or think that he isn't really on my side. He IS on my side and he knows me. Sometimes I just need a swift kick in the pants as a reminder that I make God too small.
Supportive friends. All of my friends, near and far, have been such a blessing to me. They have prayed for me through hard times and good times. They have been a listening ear when I've needed to vent. They have been a source of peace and strength...I know God has put each of them in my life and I'm grateful for all of them.
Peace. "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you."--Isaiah 26:3. I'm holding on to perfect peace and I'm choosing to trust God. I'm grateful that all I need to have peace in my life is childlike faith and trust in God's heart. Actually, it sounds easy, but it's not always easy. It is, however, a choice.
A thankful heart. Gratitude has changed my life for the better in so many ways. I have taken my focus off of the bad and I have shifted it to the good. Gratitude, like so many other things, is a choice. If I wanted to, I could focus on discouraging things...sometimes people wallow. It's the way things are. I do it, too. But every time I wallow, I come to a point where I have to make the choice to stop. God has given me the means to step out of depression and to focus on joy. It's not that easy for everyone, I know. But I'm grateful that all it's taken for me is a shift in focus. Try it! You'll see!
Have a blessed day and make the choice to be grateful. :)