I'm seriously blessed. At times, I do take for granted the people, the circumstances, and the simple blessings I have in my life, but I realize at the end of myself and the end of all my hurrying and ridiculous busy-ness, that I am truly, positively and deeply blessed. Life is beautiful, even when it's not.
As I've said in previous posts, I feel like something is happening to me or is going to happen--not JUST for me, though. Definitely something good. When I think about God and about what he has planned for the days ahead, I get this little twinge of excitement in my heart, a physical pressure. That's the only way I have to explain it. I'm excited.
I've never really been one of those people yelling about revival coming, preaching at passersby or loudly interceding about things. I've always been more internal in my relationship with God. I've had moments where I've felt compelled to share something with a stranger or confront a co-worker with God's love, but those moments have only happened because I was compelled...can't explain it any other way.
Blogging about my gratitude has, in a way, forced me to be more vocal about the heights and depths of this friendship I have with him. It's prodded me into being more comfortable with transparency and open about my issues, which is not something a Pastor's Kid is not often apt to do. I know that some of you have sent me messages about how my sharing my ups and downs has helped you in some way, but honestly, it's helped me the most. If you never read another word, I'd still keep writing because writing what I feel has been spiritual and emotional therapy for me.
I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way. God, in all of his kindness and generosity and pure love, has allowed me to learn my lessons. But he always picks me up and helps me dust myself off. He loves on me when I feel most unlovable. Learning can be a difficult process. A lot of it is trial and error--more error than anything, but that's beside the point. For instance, getting the concept of developing a filter between my brain and my mouth has been one of the toughest and longest-running lessons...but I'm learning. I'm catching on gradually.
I'm grateful that God has plans to prosper us, not to harm us.
I'm grateful that I'm not lost. I'm found, and nothing can separate me from His love.
I'm grateful that he picks up my parenting slack. In all the ways I've failed my children already in life, He is faithful to them. He keeps their little hearts safe in his hands.
I'm grateful that Springtime always brings hope. It's a spiritual/natural looking glass. You can get a sense of the spiritual through God's creation...seasons are a great example.
I'm grateful for laughter. It's such a good outlet for all kinds of emotions and it's a physical boost. God created laughter, you know. An example, Ellen Degeneres...sounds silly, but I'm grateful for her. You may not agree with all of her views, but the woman loves to laugh. She has a big heart and a love of laughter and joy and generosity. I remember learning one important thing in my Christian Doctrine class in college (yawn!) and that was the phrase, "All truth is God's truth." No matter what you believe, all truth is God's. God is truth. And there's something true about joy. I appreciate joyful people and I'm thankful that they're in the world. Funny people have a gift. I truly believe it.
Sidebar: You can learn something from EVERY person on the planet. Don't ever think that you're above someone else. I've learned some humbling things, things that have smacked me upside the head, from homeless people and drug addicts, and I've been fed some useless garbage from high-level preachers and "wise" people. God uses the foolish things of the world to confound people who think they're wise. Don't ever think that you're wise, no matter how many people may say that to you. Thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought to is a HUGE downfall and it can lead us down some dark roads. I digress...
I'm grateful for moments where I feel frustrated and overwhelmed. Yes, I said it...but don't quote me on it because I'll likely deny it later on. I'm grateful for them because I know that God has little gifts of grace for me to apply to each frustrating thing...the problem lies in my own pride and my own decision to act and speak out of my personal darkeness, rather than out of the light of his love. He's teaching me by allowing me to get to the point of frustration, but then giving me the choice of which direction to go with it. I have to say, I often fail, but there are bright moments and glimmers of hope here and there where I actually choose to have grace.
My hope is that you choose grace today, for yourself and for others. Choose to cut yourself some slack. Choose to cut others some slack. Self-involvement is something the enemy uses to make us think we're really important, and whatever we're doing is of a higher purpose than what someone else may be doing. As soon as we focus on ourselves, we not only take our focus off of other people, but we also take our focus off of God. That's why grace is such a difficult thing to grasp. The only way we can grasp it is if our eyes are on God and on his love for each individual, the "one."
As I said last time, the untameable God loves you fiercely. I hope you know that and take it to heart.