Heart in the Clouds

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Gratitudes and Thoughts --May 23, 2010

I find it so hard to be like Jesus. I want to be able to say that I can love like he does, but I think I'm always going to be learning. I learn my lessons the hard way a lot. But I'm thankful that God is bigger than my lessons and that he has a plan for me. I may not see that plan right now, but I know that he is going to be faithful.

I know the things I SHOULD do. I know the ways I SHOULD react. I can be honest, though, and say that I rarely do what I "should". Life is what it is. It is what we make of it. It is the sum of the things and people we allow into our hearts, plus the gifts already inside of ourselves. I'm still trying to find those gifts and I'm always trusting God to put trustworthy people in my life. He who promised is faithful.

I'm grateful for...

A husband who understands me. He knows my heart, and even though we don't always see eye-to-eye, I know he truly cares about me and loves me for who I am. I know that he's there for me in good times AND in bad times, and I'm beyond grateful.

The smell after the rain. There's a scent that comes just after a hard spring rain that is rich and earthy and clean...I love that smell. I wish I could bottle it. I think there must be a part of heaven that smells like that.

I am breaking free. Sometimes we're held captive in life by anything from fear to desire to depression or even to what people think of us. God is gradually ridding me of my fetters. In various ways, he is teaching me not to let those things hold me captive any longer.

Flip-flops. It's not profound, but that's okay.

Our window fan. I hate air conditioning, but a good, steady stream of fresh air into my room at night is a lovely thing.

My dog. She follows me everywhere. She thrives on my affection, and she loves me even when I'm a complete crab. I wish I could love the way she does.

Things could be worse. No matter what I'm going through, no matter how much I hurt or how much I endure, I know there are worse things that could be happening. It's kind of sad that that is a comforting thought, but it sometimes is.

My hope is that you are able to learn your lessons more easily than I am able to. I bless you with the ability to learn what you need to learn and then move on...that's hard for me, but I'm growing and always learning. I hope you are, too. Sometimes emotional, spiritual or mental growth are things you can't quantify at a glance. Sometimes you have to look back at your history to see how far you've come. Even 5 years ago, I wouldn't have been able to imagine the growth I've seen in my life since I started the journey toward having a thankful heart. Gratitude has saved my life. I know my struggles and heartbreaks and fears will never really be over, but they can be conquered one-by-one. God is bigger.

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