Heart in the Clouds

Sunday, December 9, 2012

10 years. I can't believe it.

On the eve of my son, Liam's, 10th birthday, the day he forever leaves the single digits behind, I have found the blog post I wrote about him on his 7th. I realized I can't say it better than I did that day. 

Liam had an AWESOME birthday. He was happy all day. He felt special. He felt remembered and loved. That's all a parent wants when celebrating their child's birthday. He's a great kid. He doesn't ask for much. He doesn't expect attention every five seconds, but I love to give it to him because he is such a wonderful kid. He's incredibly bright, he's animated, he's curious, he's sweet and genuinely cares about others. I'm so proud of him, and I pray every day that I can be as good a Mama as he always tells me I am.

I sometimes get flashes or little glimpses of the man he's going to be someday, and I get chills because I see the potential in him. I didn't know what to expect when he was born. I had no idea that that little baby would make ME a better person. I didn't realize that he was a tool that God would use to teach me patience, gentleness and how to receive love. No one on earth has ever loved me as unconditionally as Liam has. Kids don't know at this point that they "shouldn't" still like you when you're impatient or when you say discouraging things. He has loved me from Day One and has never stopped. I want to deserve that love, but I always feel like I fall short. God is showing me through Liam that I am deserving of love and that I am worthy.

God is teaching me that HE loves me unconditionally, just like Liam does. God is teaching me through Liam to see the world the way it should be sometimes, instead of through my pessimistic filter of what I think the world is. Liam has taught me to keep my eyes open and keep my hope alive. Liam has reminded me to pray on so many occasions where it wouldn't have been my first instinct. Liam has taught me that it's okay to show that I'm not perfect, and not to apologize for it. Kids don't apologize for what the world might see as their shortcomings...they learn from them and move on to the next thing. I want that.

I'm grateful that God has put Liam in our hands, but hasn't left us alone to raise him. He belongs to God, but I'm so thankful that I get to keep him for a time. The years are flying by. I feel like he was just 3 years old yesterday. I am so blessed to have him because God knew exactly what I needed to learn.

My hope for you is that you remember where you came from and look at how far God has brought you. You are you for a reason. God didn't make a mistake when he made you. He feels even more pride when he looks at you than I do when I look at Liam...it doesn't seem possible to me, but I know that what I experience in the way of parental love is only a tiny glimpse at what God feels for us. I hope you know you're loved.

We had no idea what a blessing we had just received.

He loved to be swaddled and held. He has always loved to be loved.

I can't even explain how much I love this photo. hee hee...
I love this photo of us. So cute. Nicole reminded me of it and I had to add it in.
He has always had smiley eyes and a love of laughter.
So curious and always in awe of tiny things that nobody else would likely notice.
Has loved Brendan since the moment he met him...in this photo he's singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", the only lullaby he could think of.
I like to think that he's a mixture of the best things about me and Sean.
He is always asking questions and has been asking them since he could talk...in this photo, he is actually asking a question. I wish I could remember what it was.
He is full of joy.
I hope he never loses his excitement for life.
He likes to dress "fancy", but he likes to look fancy on his own terms. I hope he keeps that ability to march to the beat of his own drummer.

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